I often feel lonely, misunderstood. I From time to time I am often alone and self-reflect. No-one would like anyone if they spent as many hours a day as I do thinking about all the ways I messed up or didn’t quite live up to who I wanted to be in life. I put great effort into try to understand myself and fix things that I believe to be intrinsically wrong with myself. But I know I need to stop with that, to stop fixing. I’m exhausted. The constant rebuilding, correcting, remaking but yet still feeling as if I am always failing.

I want to feel accepted , just an ounce of acceptance from somewhere. Someone to hold my hand, look me in the eyes and tell me that I don’t have to change a thing about me. I shouldn’t have to work myself to the bone trying to “fix” every ounce of me. I look at friendships and love just waiting, waiting for one person to wave their hand to tell me “Come on in. We’ve got a spot here just for you. Take off your sweater coat and stay awhile here with us. You’re safe to be your true self and all that you are, “No more and no less.”

I like to sit alone and stare at the moon at the end of the day, it makes the day feel complete. The moon reminds me of so many buried, deep feelings that are inside the hearts of many. So many memories, beautiful nights at the end it just reminds me of being lonely. This can hit at any direction. It’s the moon and me wandering in my mind. The heart carries the soul.

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